TM
Awards Page Index * OSCAR coverage here
'02 FiLM BiTCH Awards
Winners will be announced on March 16th
Honoring favorite cinematic achievements of 2002. 5 nominees in most categories. Semi Finalists and Finalists refer to achievements that were considered and are well regarded. The choice is often difficult. Contenders I only think it's fair to show what I've seen. If you're disappointed in my choices you can't just assume I didn't see something. That's what I always assume about the Academy voters! I don't think they see as many movies as devotees. So if you want a complete list of the 90 or so movies I saw in 2002 you can click here.
Majors / Technicals / Extras 1 / Extras 2 / Scenes 1 / Scenes 2
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Best Tag Linei:
(yes, I am obsessed)
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Chicago
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Gangs
of New York
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Human
Nature
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LotR:
The Two Towers
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World
Traveler
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 "If
You Can't Be Famous, Be Infamous." |
"America
Was Born In the Streets"
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"In
the Interest of Civilization... Conform."
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"A
New Power is Rising."
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"Ever
Wander?"
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| Finalists: Secretary "Assume the Position" * White Oleander " Where Does a Mother End and a Daughter Begin?" | ||||
$
Poster of the Year $
the gorgeous nominees are
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25th
Hour
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Adaptation
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Catch
Me If You Can
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Chicago
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Far
From Heaven
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Talk
To Her
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Stark,
vivid, and bold. The added creases are what really sells it -A little
worn but still worth a look. Edward Norton nearly out of frame works
really way for a man saying good-byes. I love this poster and forgot
it at first, hence the six noms.
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The
movie is funny but the poster is a marvel of a punchline on its own.
A big fat bonus check for the designer who found such a clever way of
illustrating -perfectly and in the film's self deprecating fashion -the
movie's twisted origin. Wow. |
I
know this poster belongs here because I am a legendary Spielberg hater
-and yet, when I saw this I thought: That movie looks fun! Plus
I love it when teaser posters fuck over the stars by not including their
ubiquitous mugs.
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Many
films these days are doing series of posters -one for each character,
then finally combining them. I'm not sure where the trend began (anyone?)but
I love it and nobody did it better than the big, bold, brassy and neon
enhanced Chicago.
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The
intense saturation of the color and the airbrushed gleam echo the glorious
artifice of the film. And best of all, Moore is front and center, iconic
in her purple scarf. She should be, considering this film and her star
turn will both go down in history.
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The
foreign poster beautifully conveyed Almodovar's reliably brilliant color
palette as well as the "double" aspects of the film itself.
Beautiful but still a little weird, inviting you in to the mysteries
within the film, which is really about two men.
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Finalists: The
Two Towers -The Saruman poster only -with his back to
you "A New Power is Rising" -chilling. The other posters were
too busy, too crowded, and messy. Trying to convey too many things at
once will kill any poster.
Semifinals: Rules of Attraction (plushies) * Secretary (Maggie on the desk) Signs (1st teaser -a view from space) 2nd teaser (the farm) then in release, the stars. Closer in every time. A great suspenseful ad campaign * |
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!!!!!
Hero of the Year
!!!!!
the
noble nominees are
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Aragorn
Viggo Mortenson in The Two Towers |
Chihiro
in Spirited Away |
Quinn
Christian Bale in Reign of Fire |
Spider-Man
Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man |
Yoda
in Attack of the Clones |
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Blessed
with:
Royal lineage and ability to be completely badass (Thanks Vern) whether romancing elves, battling Orcs, or swinging open gargantuan doors. Achilles Heel: Eowyn and Arwen Triumph: Helm's Deep. ( Bonus Points for the "No More Blood for Oil" t-shirt on Charlie Rose.) |
Blessed
with:
Kindness, Patience, Selflessness, Notable lack of greed, and a healthy distrust of freakish floating/ flying/ bouncing entities in bathhouses. Achilles Heel: Gluttonous pigs for parents. Triumph: I love this movie but I have no idea what happens in it. |
Blessed
with :
A supernatural sense of direction -He can find where he was when he was 10 years old when all conceivable landmarks have been burnt to ashes- Leadership skills, and killer abs. Achilles Heel: Plays it safe. Triumph: Survival. |
Blessed
with:
Overall goodness, super-powers with adolescent metaphorical baggage, and that nifty Spider sense. Wouldn't that come in handy? Achilles Heel: Mary Jane Watson Triumph: Learns personal responsibility. |
Blessed
with:
An abundance of The Force, some mean lightsaber skills, and über- quotable syntax. Achilles Heel: Overconfidence. ObiWan and Anakin Triumph: "Victory? Victory you say!" |
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Wrath, Envy, Gluttony, Pride, Sloth, Lust, and Avarice |
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Finalists:
None. This year most of the heroes were nearly as bad as the
villians (Think Anakin Skywalker, Amsterdam Vallon, and Road to Perdition's
fatherly assassin among others...)
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*^@#j
Villain of the Year
j%@$#
the
down and dirty nominees are
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Bill
the Butcher
Daniel Day-Lewis in Gangs of New York |
Green
Goblin
Willem Dafoe in Spider-Man |
Ingrid
Magnussen
Michelle Pfeiffer in White Oleander |
The
Reporter
Jude Law in Road to Perdition |
Yubaba
in Spirited Away |
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Guilty
of...
Murder, mayhem, organized crime, intense xenophobia, wearing kooky hats. Henchmen? The eponymous gangs. Boss Tweed. Sentence: Death by multiple stabbings. |
Guilty
of...
Murderous rages, maintaining a Jekyl & Hyde complex (there's one we haven't seen before), wearing kooky helmets. Henchmen? Utterly alone, poor thing. He even talks to himself. Sentence: Death by his own devices. |
Guilty of...
Murder, emotional violence, brainwashing, emitting heaps of pretentious sermons and carrying around a super-sized portion of Pride. Henchmen? A growing army of sycophants. Sentence: Life term. |
Guilty
of...
Murders, poor hygiene, and indulging in sick fetishes; A photog who gives new meaning to the term "shoot" Henchmen? A solo artist. Sentence: Death. |
Guilty
of...
You do realize she was pushing some serious hallucinogens, right? Henchmen? Three bouncing heads. No kidding. Sentence: Semi-reformed? I'm not sure what happened in this movie. I'm still coming down from the stuff she sold me. |
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Wrath,
Envy, Gluttony, Pride, Sloth, Lust, and
Avarice
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Finalists:
Saruman in The Two Towers would have made it -but mostly
he just stood there in his tower all high, evil, and mighty. Too detached
for this list of baddies who weren't afraid to get their hands dirty.
* The killer tyke in The Ring
Trivia: This is the 10th anniversary of Michelle's phenomenal Catwoman star turn and she finally found another killer role. Note: What happened to Disney??? They use to be slamming when it came to creating memorable villians. |
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><
Sexpot of the Year ><
the luscious nominees are
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Connie
Diane Lane in Unfaithful |
Julio
Gael Garcia Bernal in Y Tu Mama Tambien |
Legolas
Orlando Bloom in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers |
Naturelle
Rosario Dawson in 25th Hour |
Quinn
Christian Bale in Reign of Fire |
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Whether
seducing her hubby, a Frenchman, or the nation's film critics, Diane
Lane gave great sex all year. |
The
entire cast and movie is sexy but Bernal is it. I was saying
it in 2001: He'll be an international
superstar.
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If
you can flip yourself backwards up onto a galloping horse, you can do
anything...
And I do mean anything.
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A
silvery erotic vision. Why Monty doesn't want to sleep with her one
last time is a mystery to all in this fine drama...
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Dragons
may destroy civilization ...but they'll never destroy his abs.
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Finalists:
The merry murderesses from Chicago. But overall, this year wasn't
so sexy.
Trivia: This is Christian Bale's second nomination in three years in this category after his star turn in American Psycho. |
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*
Diva of the Year
*
the focus-pulling nominees are
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Diane
Bebe Neuwirth in Tadpole |
Roxie
Hart
Renee Zellweger in Chicago |
Velma
Kelly
Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago |
Ingrid
Magnussen
Michelle Pfeiffer in White Oleander |
Van
Zan
Matthew McConaughey in Reign of Fire |
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Turn
ons:
Adolescent Voltaire-quoting boys. Exposing hypocrisies in public. Hobbies: Witticisms. Massage. Turn offs: Hypocrisy, sexual hangups, lies. |
Turn
ons:
Fame and fortune only. And in that order. Hobbies: Memorabilia collecting. Turn offs: Sympathetic saps like her husband. Public hangings. |
Turn
ons: Fortune and Fame (in that order). Garter belts. All that jazz. Hobbies: Giving them the ol' razzle dazzle. Turn offs: #17, "the Spread Eagle". Roxie Hart. |
Turn
ons:
Herself. Art. Constructing her own cult of personality. Hobbies: Toying with emotionally fragile people until bored. Kill, then repeat. Turn offs: Religion. Being dumped. |
Turn
ons:
American aggression. Hunting. Patriotism. Christian Bale. Hobbies: The chewing of all available scenery. Turn offs: European timidity. |
| Finalists:The Cast of 8 Women."Sapphists!" but Divas one and all. Semi-Finalist: A tie between the indifferently erotic Asia Argentino and Vin Diesel's fur coat, both featured in xXx | ||||