TM
OSCAR DIARY FINALE
Nathaniel reaches the climax of his annual pathetic obsession with all things naked & golden.
Monday, March 1st, 7:34 PM
Free at last, free at last. God almighty I'm free at last.
If I sound overly enthusiastic about Oscar season ending, please understand: I've been running this site for a few years and despite my enormous adoration of the Lord of The Rings series, I think even its staunchest fans found the end of this three year journey (the Oscars, not the film) to be both heartening and dull as a bag of dirt. Still... even in its inevitability. It was definitely a once in a lifetime thing. I doubt we're seeing anything like The Lord of the Rings again.
So, let's make no big fuss about these things and get through this quickly. I didn't do so hot predictions wise (see here to point and laugh) my main problem being that I have spent too many years of my life obsessing about Oscars so I tend to overthink everything. The most surprising thing was also the least surprising: No surprises. So, since I try and predict surprises I bombed big time.
Best Dressed
Renée Zellweger -yes, I give. "UNCLE" Now, go away.
Worst Trend
Champagne sparkly dresses to your left champagne sparkly dresses to your right. Champagne sparkly dresses all around. Tomorrow: Champagne sparkly dresses going cheap! It was as bad as the purple attack at the SAGs. I'm all for ditching the black dresses. But does everyone have to choose the same color? It's like their stylists are all spying on each other and then sabotaging the stars unwittingly.
Worst Moments
04 Seeing many of the deserving nominees lose. But that always kinda blows.
03 Jennifer Garner -TV star. She keeps stealing prime real estate at movie shows. Why? T.V. STAR. Tttttttt Vvvvvvv (I'm saying it slowly so that everyone can understand Because nobody seems to. This is not difficult. But I seem to be the only one. Perhaps I am a mad prophet. Small screen! The square kind. She is not for the rectangle. Living Room star. You don't go out and pay money to sit with strangers to watch her. Tttttttt Vvvvvvvv.
02 Renée Zellweger's hyperventilating speed-speech. But it still seemed so long. Maybe it was the 17 minutes it took her to leave her seat once her name was announced.
01 blaaaaaaahhhh. It's not so much a worst moment as an overall Every year I think to myself that the director of the show is as smart about time as political figures are about budgets. "Let's see ---we have six 10 minute tributes planned and the show is three hours long. God, we'll never go over. How will we ever fill the other 170 minutes?" (If you didn't get that joke you can be the next producer/director of the Oscars. Congratulations on your new career! After you're done with that the American public would like to elect you as the next president because you're so good with numbers)
Best Moments
10 Sean Penn's speech. With so many deserving men up it was really nice to have the no "best" thing reiterated... and a lovely touch to name the snubees as well -very unusual.
09 Dominic Monaghan (OK, and the other hobbits too)
08 A moment I missed. I understand that Adam Elliott blew a kiss to his boyfriend and I love crap like that so I wish I had been paying attention. But I have a good excuse.
07 Clips (I had this silly fear after last year that they would dump them and they did not -Thank the powers that be in Hollywood)
06 The repeated sight of pleasingly pregnantly plump Marcia Gay Harden -smiling and clapping. She seemed just as jolly as could be. Plus I loved the auditioning-for-Camelot look.
05 "You're boring" -Jack Black and Will Ferrell. Although for brevity's sake couldn't they have done this hilarious number nearer to the beginning so all the early longwinded people would've watched themselves and the big stars could've gone on a smidgeon longer.
04 Adrien Brody's breath spray and Charlize Theron generous response.
03 Mitch & Mickey -all of the song performances were splendid (and that is --well, a miracle is what that is! But this has to be among the best Oscar moments of all time. So funny. So deserving. And such a great hokey song.)
02 Peter Jackson and company celebrated just like they deserved.
01 The End. Hey, it's all over, and it's not even the end of March. Now, that is worth the #1 spot.
Free at last, free at last. God almighty I'm free at last.
Oscar Diary Volume 1: January 27th through February 3th
Oscar Diary Volume 2: February 4th through February 19th
Oscar Diary Volume 3: February 20th through March 1st
Awards
* 