because you can't have too much entertainment...
November/December 2003

Critic in Absentia.

I am Nathaniel's conscience. I weigh heavily on the man. I lash out at him in weak moments. While he lies sick in bed, I mutter in his left ear that he could just as well type some reviews wrapped in that same checkered germ-infested quilt. 'On the internet no one can hear you dry heave.'

While he's watching Must See TV and downing Theraflu by the gallon, I hover with repetitive guilt. I spring continually from that old quilt. I remind him that computer screens are more interactive than the boob tube. Even in the shower I put movie tunes in his head to torment him.

Finally I give up: Nathaniel is too sick to hammer out reviews. Instead, I type by proxy for him. These are stray thoughts I plucked from his head in between such clichéd gems as: "Where's the kleeenex?" "How many time can you cough before your throat falls out?" "I'll never get my Christmas shopping done since I never leave the apartment"

Movies he neglected to write about: Angels in America * Big Fish * In America * In the Cut * Kill Bill, Vol I * Legally Blond 2: Red, White, and Blond * Pieces of April * The Shape of Things * Sylvia * Thirteen *

Angels in America
For those who never had the privilege of witnessing one of the greatest theatrical events of the 20th century, HBO Films kindly fills them in after the fact. Prepare the way. If you've never subscribed to HBO, this is your last warning. Call your cable company. The messenger has arrived. "It's not TV. It's HBO" feels more like a gift than a sales pitch these days. Angels in America, Tony Kushner's intellectual and moving two part 'fantasia' on love and politics in the time of AIDS is almost as startling, revelatory, and important as it was in its Pulitzer and Tony-winning form. It will always be a stage piece. Make no mistake. But thankfully Mike Nichols's wonderfully handled filmed version understands that and works with it for this superb restaging on film. The new cast is uniformly excellent. The words still burn with inciendary truth. A must see.
The stage version: A+ Current incarnation -still stupendous: A-
(I only wish this had been a theatrical release and redeemed the cinematic year.)

Big Fish
Like a phoenix from the ashes, a visualist as indispensable to American mainstream movies as Tim Burton should never be kept down for long. Forgive him his Planet of the Apes lapse. Big Fish tells the story of the reunion between a father and son separated and then reunited by the fathers penchant for elaborate tall tales of his youth. Though it's slightly disappointing to see the singular Burton shoehorning his wierd gifts into such a traditional familial drama (essentially it's an oddball entry in the On Golden Pond /Terms of Endearment genre) the film has enough wonders to highly recommend it.

As comedy it falls short of the hallucinatory silly high of his golden beginnings with Pee Wee's Big Adventure. As fairy tale it falls short of the inimitable Edward Scissorhands. Big Fish stumbles regularly; some stories meander, some feel repetitive, and most unfortunately, the about-face from the audience surrogate, played by Billy Crudup, isn't earned -but most of it works anyway. A s a weird and warm spectacle a return to form, it's well worth a visit. The finale in particular is a bravura emotional sleight of hand. Tim Burton is a true cinematic magician. Sometimes his tricks are awkward, but you'll still fall for the spell. B

In America
Too precious, perhaps, but there's no denying that it's beautifully humane. How often do we see films whose ambitions are merely to tell the tale of a family finding their footing in a new land? Jim Sheridan and his daughters wrote the screenplay together based on their own experience as a family migrating to America from Ireland. The tight family dynamic both behind the scenes and onscreen is obviously heartfelt and the film is confidently moving.

Some awkward secondary elements slow the movie down. The biggest problem being Djimon Honsou's neighbor and AIDS victim. He's the healthiest looking specimen ever to be dying a slow death from a disease, all model looks and gorgeous musculature. And he bears the weight of the film's most fanciful and forced magical realism. The film's obvious love for its characters and the audience experience comes across also as a tad overbearing. The music is often a shade too loud or happy while underscoring potentially disorienting moments in the family's journey. Yet in the quieter moments the film really comes together. Paddy Considine and Samantha Morton are strong as the parents and with the discovery of the Bolger sisters, Sarah and Emma, the Sheridans hit the jackpot. The young girls give impressively natural performances and lend a magical sweetness to the film. B-

In the Cut
The return of Jane Campion. It couldn't have happened soon enough. Her choice of projects at first glance is an odd and discomforting fit: A serial killer film for the master of the feminist romantic drama? But despite some clunkiness due to genre elements, Campion for the most part refuses to let the serial killer film get in the way of her concerns. She harnesses the genre thematically in service of an obvious but still quite affecting story of the inherent danger present or lurking around the bend in all adult romantic entanglements. It doesn't all work, no. But it's an interesting project and an underappreciated one at the very least. B-

 

Kill Bill, Vol I
I've never been sure what to say about Kill Bill Vol. I without spending a day or three writing a lengthy review. I haven't had the time to do that. The list of this film's critics is long. But the best films are often divisive. No film this year felt as fully alive to this viewer. From its opening statement/(disclaimer?) "Revenge is a dish best served cold" through its exceptionally well realized performances, funky chronology, and on to its funny/strange conclusion of sorts it's a one-of-a-kind film. Holding my breath for Vol. II praying that this movie is as great as I think it is. A-

Legally Blond 2
Like the year's earlier girlpower sequel, Charlies Angels: Full Throttle, the second adventure of Elle Woods suffers from trying too hard to recapture the charms of the first hit film. But despite that obvious obstacle to greatness, the filmmakers and actors assembled manage to pull off enough funny moments to justify the sequel's existence and our time watching it. Centering the plotline on Elle's love for her adorable pet chihuahua was a masterstroke of silliness. Jennifer Coolidge's continued presence may smack of desperation -but any film that has a chance to use Ms. Coolidge and doesn't has serious problems so I'm not complaining. She offers up one of the film's best (and most tasteless) guffaws. I laughed enough to recommend this silly romp with the ever adorable Reese Witherspoon. Snaps for Elle all over again. B-

Pieces of April
There was once a time when I could watch hideous digitally shot films but that time has passed. The past few years have brought us so many gorgeous digital films that it is no longer acceptable as an excuse for ugly ghost-ridden images and washed out color. So, that's several marks against it right there. Then there's the fact that for a comedy it's not really funny. And for a drama, it's not really dramatic. Patricia Clarkson, the ever dependable one, livens things up considerably but we spend far more time with April, who has no discernable personality. Katie Holmes doesn't offer much help. At the very least she should have cued us in as to why we should care about April. All that said it ends suprisingly well. (Or maybe I was just glad it was over?) D+

The Shape of Things
Neil LaBute is a mixed bag. For all the grit and forcefulness of his concepts and the no-punches pulled electricity of his characterizations, his work sometimes feel far too much like concepts only, his characters too much like ideas. I enjoyed the Shape of Things as a play but it now has the dubious distinction of being the laziest stage-to-screen transfer I've ever seen. It's like Disney's Beauty and the Beast (great onscreen. dismal onstage) only in the opposite direction. Adaptation is different than copying. It requires adjustments and calibrations, sometimes even major changes. The stage is not the screen and vice versa. This transfer from one medium to another is so poorly conceived in fact that just about the only thing they seem to have done differently was to pick up the cameras and move them outside for a shot or two. Even the actors (the same fine cast that performed this onstage) don't seem to realize that they're now performing for cameras rather than the back of the house. The shape of this thing? Stiff, forced, lumpy, and unattractive. D

Sylvia
Gwyneth Paltrow as Sylvia Plath emotes heavily, contemplates suicide, bakes, has a cute accent, frets over Daniel Craig's very masculine and potent charisma as her husband Ted. She does everything short of sitting in the theater next to you trying to save the movie. But there's essentially no movie to save. Biopics are notoriously difficult to pull off. The human life for all its drama, doesn't offer neat story arcs, just messy ups and downs. In Sylvia Plath's case, mostly downs. Well acted and seriously mounted, Sylvia: The Movie is nevertheless very, very boring. The movie isn't inspired enough to overcome its own monotonous subject. Sylvia was a fine poet who obsessed about morbid things like suicide. All the time. That might make for a mean short. But it makes for a dull feature. C-

Thirteen
Stunning. Catherine Hardwicke's debut film is histrionic and hormonal, always on the edge of being a little too much but remaining powerful and affecting. Hardwicke's directorial flair takes a backseat, however, to the powerhouse duo at the center of this mother-daughter war.The best young actress working, Evan Rachel Wood, offers a difficult, truthful, and painful portrait of a good girl losing her grip. Her work is gorgeously counterbalanced and strengthened by a superb Holly Hunter as her hip, confused, and generous mother, Melanie. Thirteen the film, much like Melanie it's fiercely loving mother grabs a hold of you and won't let go -even when you want desperately to escape its grip. One of the few films this year that gets better with distance rather than fading from mind. B+

-Nathaniel
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