The Great Kimono Wars of 1935
review by Nathaniel R
Memoirs of a Geisha Directed by: Rob Marshall Written by: Steve Chbosky
Based on the Novel by: aer. Starring: Zhang Ziyi, Michelle Yeoh, Gong Li, Ken Watanabe, Youki Kudoh, Kaori Momi, and Tsai Chin
I have yet to be quoted on a movie poster. No Peter Travers am I. And here's a blurb that won't be getting my name plastered on any Memoirs of a Geisha posters: "If you liked Showgirls, you might love Geisha!" It's a pull quote sophomore film director Rob Marshall probably never expected to get. Although it is not, should we think on it carefully, an incongruous thought to utter. Marshall's celebrated debut film Chicago was, like that aforementioned camp-fest, a highly entertaining bitch-on-wheels musical about catty rivalry in a vice-celebrating city. Memoirs of a Geisha is not a musical. It is by all accounts an adaptation of a best-selling fictional novel by Arthur Golden (which I have not read). But, prestige or blockbuster literary status aside, Memoirs of a Geisha: The Movie is the most expensive exotic catfight ever made in Hollywood.
The women Memoirs drools over are meant to be a class above deliciously evil low-rent divas like Cristal and Nomi or Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly. But Marshall's epic spends so much time following the underhanded maneuverings of this hermetic geisha world that it stars to feel like a reality TV contest: WHO WILL BE OUTWITTED? WHO WILL BE HUMILIATED? WHICH DIVA WILL SURVIVE? So I offer you this cheat sheet of contestants, identifying for you how each Geisha embodies the character of this particular film.
The Contestants
Kaori Momoi as "Mother"
This landlady or, as we call them on these shores, "madame" (Listen, if the film is Americanizing this culture, why can't I?) has but one thing on her mind: Money. She will split up sisters if she views one as more marketable and toss the other to an unsavory fate. She is this production's decision to cast Chinese superstars as Japanese women and film them all speaking in phonetic English. Whatever works for the mall crowd works for her pockets. Mother would also like to honor all previous incarnations of her 'type.' A special shout-out to Mrs. Meers from Throughly Modern Millie.
Youki Kudoh as "Pumpkin"
The only Japanese star among the quartet of quarreling Geishas is spunky Youki Kudoh. Like all of the geishas in this film's war of wits, costumes, and sex appeal she is more formidable than she first appears. Pumpkin's role in the proceedings also offers a delicious reflection of the film's not-so Asian soul. Some of the divas are thrown off balance by the arrival of American characters in the film's third act. Not Pumpkin. She dives right in like a born Vargas pin-up girl.
Gong Li as "Hatsumomo"
China's greatest movie star Gong Li (Farewell My Concubine, Ju Dou, To Live) is the reigning villainous in town. She is the prime mover and shaker in nearly every power play in the ongoing geisha wars. A nasty piece of work this one. Hatsumomo's petty rage is also emblematic of all character traits in this movie: Shallow, one-note, and easily delineated for general audiences. Mother is greedy. Pumpkin is naive. Hatsumomo is an über-bitch. To this movie Gong Li brings a simple crutch gift: charisma to coast on. Memoirs of a Geisha is proud to flaunt the beauty of all its actors, locales, and designs (The crew do exemplary work across the board) but like Hatsumomo herself who is locked up in the Geisha house in one key sequence, this film is all dressed up with nowhere particularly in mind to go.
Michelle Yeoh as "Mameha"
Once again, this Malaysian superstar plays mentor to the it-girl of Asian cinema, Ziyi Zhang. They first paired up in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. History repeats itself. Yeoh again gives a more confident performance that will sit on the sidelines while Ziyi eats up the headlines. Perhaps this is appropriate --if not exactly rewarding for Michelle Yeoh--given the mentor/apprentice nature of their onscreen duets. Mameha functions as the audience's mentor too. She is your window into the foreign affairs. It's a smart casting decision since Yeoh's obvious comfort with the English language dialogue aids in this transferrence of information. Though Sayuri occassionally narrates during key transitional sequences, it is Mameha who is holding our hand throughout, teaching us everything about geishas that the film would have us know. Aren't familiar with a word? Feeling confused? Just be patient. Mameha will explain it all.
And the winner is...Ziyi Zhang as "Sayuri"
This knockout's triumph sadly makes the audience the film's primary loser. Instead of the bitchy entertainment fires (however one-note) that Hatsumomo ignites or the interesting insights into foreign culture (however shallow) that Mameha imparts, the film finally cares most deeply about its blandest geisha. Ziyi is a great beauty and also an actress of some talent (she gave a sensational star turn in 2046 earlier this year) but her awkwardness in the title role and stiff line readings are a problem. Like Sayuri herself, the film seems initially fascinated with geisha culture only to invest most of its time, energy, and heart in her determinedly dull romantic love for a rich older man who gave her sweets as a child. It shares this particularly unrelatable obsession to the detriment of all else narratively. In so doing Memoirs of a Geisha mirrors, without irony or discernable point-of-view, Sayuri's confused sexuality.In Chicago, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly lied to themselves repeatedly about the depth of both their talent and the audience's affection. In Showgirls Nomi Malone repeatedly and vehemently insisted that she was a dancer, not a whore. Sayuri is equally stubborn and clueless as to her place in the world. Her virginity is sold to the highest bidder but we are repeatedly educated on the point that she is no prostitute. The primary difference then? In Showgirls and Chicago you are not asked to take the unreliable protagonists word for gospel. In Memoirs of a Geisha Sayuri's limited and distorted point-of-view is meant to be shared.
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